Fandom: Red Dragon/The Silence of the Lambs/Hannibal

Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham

Rating: R/NC-17

Beta: Malakai_Amlug thank you very much for all the hard work)

Summary: Sometimes running is not possible as the past catches up with you.

Notes/Warning: This is a slash story which means that it features two grown up men in love with each other and physically expressing this emotion in various forms. If you are in any way or degree homophobic, disgusted, disturbed, feel threatened or weirded out by such a relationship, please do not read any further and don’t write me any stupid e-mails to preach about the wrongs or rights of homosexual relationships.

Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story are by no means mine and belong to Thomas Harris. If you want to have some picture as a guideline for what these guys actually look like I would strongly suggest watching the movie versions of the books, which were done by DeLaurentis Pictures. As for the musical help I had with this story. The chapter titles and the paragraphs of lyrics in each chapter are songs composed and performed by Placebo. Therefore they are not mine either. I am not making any money with this and purely do it for my own amusement and entertainment.



CHAPTER TEN - Black-eyed


"I was never faithful
And I was never one to trust"


Hannibal used the time Will spent asleep to think about that noon and what
it heralded for the future he had planned. Finding the other on the beach
had been an accident. After having a cup of coffee at Will's favorite
café, he had decided to take a stroll to the beach. The market had been
mostly empty still, so he had had to wait some more before he would be
able to make the needed purchases.

On his way back from the end of the promenade, he had noticed the familiar
figure of Will trudging through the sandy dunes. It had surprised him to
find the younger man here at this particular time of day. His curiosity
had changed to concern though as he had seen the blonde curling up in the
sand. Something was very wrong.

After taking care of Will, he had guided him back to his cottage. He had
been so proud of Will's courage as the blonde invited him into his home.
And standing opposite Hannibal, being confronted with what was going to
happen in the future, Will had finally had the panic attack Hannibal had
been waiting for. It had taken too long. Will should have sooner realized
what was going on – he had a sharp mind after all. Had had a sharp mind,
might have been the more appropriate phrasing, though. All the alcohol and
the depression had started to slowly deterioriate this magnificent mind.
Hannibal had to stop this destructive process and start with
reconstructing what had suffered for so many years.

Knowing the other to be asleep upstairs, he left the cottage to finally
make his purchases. The sun was high up in the sky and made him wish to
stay in a country with a less demanding climate. He took a cotton
handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped over his face. He would see if he
would be able to convince his new companion to move to a different
location.

Once more he strolled down the back streets to the market and found the
place to be full of people. The life and movement reminded him of open
piazzas filled with tourists. With an amused smile he made his way through
the masses to the stands he had been to in the morning. Choosing
carefully, he bought two sea bass and then got the vegetables he needed.
Carrying his two bags carefully through the sea of people, he made for the
small delicatessen he had found during one of his reconnaissance walks
through Will's territory.

After finalizing his shopping he walked back to the cottage and its
resting inhabitant. He was determined to get to the next stage of their
relationship now that Will had finally come to his senses and was able to
fully realize what was going on around him. This strange numbness that had
kept the former FBI profiler from living in the here and now was slowly
dissipating and now was the time to introduce Will to his new life and his
position in Hannibal's.

Arriving back at the cottage, Hannibal was grateful that the interior was
much cooler due to the lowered blinds, curtains and the natural air
condition of open windows and doors.

Putting the bags with his purchases from the delicatessen and the
vegetables on the counter, Hannibal took care of the fish to prevent any
damage to it. He gutted and cleaned it and then filleted it, disposing of
the parts that he did not need. Once this part was finished, he put the
filets into the fridge and started with cutting the vegetables he needed.

All the while his thoughts kept returning the blonde and the possible
future for the two of them. In some way, Hannibal had not liked the
direction his thoughts had taken after his first days of watching the
younger man. He had believed himself above such things as attraction and
love. There had never been a use for it in his past; such constricting
emotions would have hindered him in his work. Both the professional work
as a psychiatrist and the work that he considered to be his private
pleasure.

But after carefully studying the
blonde and thinking back on their past dealings, he had to admit that
there had always been a connection between them. Will was an intriguing
person. The only one who never noticed his appeal was Will himself. There
had been the scientific intrigue from Dr. Alan Bloom. There had been the
professional intrigue from Jack Crawford. There had been the emotional
intrigue from Molly. It didn't matter where and in what situation, the
former FBI profiler never did things halfway, he always gave his all. This
was a personal trait that often seduced others to take advantage of him.

He couldn't really say what it was exactly that intrigued him about Will
Graham, but the truth was that felt an odd closeness to the other. In the
past he had thought that to be because of their talks and his playing with
Will's mind. After his imprisonment, he had started to think about their
past interactions and his focus on their shared past had lead to people
like Dr. Frederick Chilton to talk about an unhealthy obsession. He could
clearly remember presenting his findings to Will as the blonde visited him
in Baltimore. He had told the younger man that their closeness resulted
from their similarity. These days though Hannibal was sure that there had
probably been an attraction from the beginning that had been overseen in
the past because of certain circumstances and different priorities, but he
knew now that Will was probably the only person that he would ever be able to
love. Oh, he had loved Clarice of course, but the love for the young woman
had been of a filial nature and the need to protect her from the world
that seemed too cruel for her. The love, the emotion he had for Will was
of a romantic nature.

His progress in the meal preparations was not slowed down by setting the
table on the terrace outside, since the fish was already in the bags and
cooking slowly in the pot. He noticed with satisfaction that the
temperature had fallen and that a small breeze made it possible to stay
outside without getting drenched in sweat.

Just as he was cutting the herbs for the cream sauce he heard movement
from upstairs and soon thereafter the unmistakable sound of the shower. He
smirked as he pictured Will naked under the shower. He would be lying if
he said that he was not curious about the physical side of their budding
relationship. If Will only put half as much effort into it that he
usually put into everything else in his life, it would be more than
rewarding for Hannibal indeed.

As the sound of the water upstairs stopped, he put the knife aside and
listened closely to the noises from the bedroom. Soon there was the soft
padding of bare feet down the wooden stairs. He silently walked to the
door of the kitchen and felt a slight rush of excitement at the sight of
the blonde. His hair was in disarray from his towel drying and made it him
look very young. The red pants he was wearing were form fitting around his
hips and back but fell loosely from there. The creamy white color of the
sleeveless shirt he was wearing was probably called magnolia.

The sparkling blue eyes scanned the terrace, taking in Hannibal's work.
Soundlessly he stepped up to Will and wrapped his arms around him. The
reaction to this was more rewarding than he had expected and he had to
stop soon thereafter to ensure that they weren't proceeding too quickly.
Yes, Will was ready for what was to come.

Hannibal handed the bag from the delicatessen to Will and instructed him
on how to cook the tagliatelle properly. Leaving the blonde to his work,
Hannibal finished cutting the herbs he needed and added them to the cream
sauce in the small pot. He stirred them together and then let them simmer.

He leaned back against the counter and watched the other starting to clean
away the small mess Hannibal had created. With precise and effective
movements the younger man swiped the working space clean and stacked the
dirty dishes and tools into the dishwasher.

Taking the knife Hannibal had put aside he looked up from his work. "Do
you still need this?"

"Leave it Will, I need to open the bags later with it. You can leave the
cutting board here as well." Without any further thought to the knife Will
lay it down again and continued cleaning. It was amazing how trusting the
younger man was. He never even spared a second glance on the dangerous
kitchen equipment.

Hannibal was relieved to see that the fragility that had him fear for the
other's mental stability at the beach was nowhere to be seen. This time
when Will would ask him about them, he would get the answer he needed.

The smell of the sauce was getting stronger and Hannibal checked the
tagliatelle to see if they were finished yet. Cutting a long string in two
with his fingernail he determined that there were two more minutes
necessary for them to be al dente and so he checked on his fish. The water
had condensed and the bags were full of air now. He could see the filets
resting on the vegetables and the herbs that they were enclosed with.

Will moved to his side and turned the plate with the noodles off. Opening
one of the kitchen cupboards, he took a sieve out and put it into the
sink. Making sure that the water from the tab was hot he grabbed a kitchen
towel and carefully carried the pot of hot water and noodles to the sink.
He poured them in to the sieve and washed them with hot water.

Hannibal moved the pot with the sauce from the oven and took the bags with
the fish filets out of the pot they had been cooking in. Handing two
plates he had pre-heated to keep the food warm to Will, they were heaped
with tagliatelle. He added the sauce to the noodles and put the two plates
next to the cutting board. He opened the first bag and the strong scent of
herbs filled the kitchen. Carefully he put the filet inside on the first
plate and added the vegetables the fish had been stewing with to the plate
as well. Taking a spoon Will was offering, he poured the juices from the
bag over the fish filet.

He repeated it with the second bag and discarded the empty bags once he
was finished. Hannibal handed one plate to Will and opened the fridge to
take a bottle of a fine white wine he had purchased together with the
tagliatelle. He then followed Will outside on the terrace.


"I was never grateful
That's why I spent my days alone"


Pouring them a glass of the wine, Hannibal contently watched Will smile at
the food in front of him. It was good to know that Will appreciated the
effort made. Hannibal never cooked because he wanted to be complimented.
He cooked for his own enjoyment and pleasure, but appreciation was always
welcome.

"Please, start eating, Will."

Conversation was non-existent during their meal, but then again they were
far too absorbed in enjoying the delicious food. There was the sound of
some radio playing somewhere, broadcasting news from the local areas as
well as the rest of the world. Will set his cutlery aside and excused
himself. Getting up, the blonde went back into the cottage

Soon after his disappearance, smooth jazz music wafted out onto the
terrace and brought a smiling Will with it. Hannibal returned the smile
and the two of them continued eating their food. This playful mood the
other was in reminded him of the evenings spent profiling during the first
period of their past together. The younger man had always been so absorbed
in his work that Hannibal from time to time had to force him to take a
break and sit back to enjoy a good discussion and on rare occasions he
even had agreed to go to a concert with him. The latter had occurred only
once but it had been a pleasant experience.

"You are very content with your situation, Will. You are very accepting.
How is it that you changed your opinion and attitude so quickly?" The
older man had set his cutlery down and waited for the other's reply.

At first it seemed as if the blonde hadn't heard the question since he
continued eating but then he suddenly his eyes swiveled up to Hannibal's
and there was a strange glint to them. Hannibal recognized this glint
almost at once. He had seen it often enough in the mirror after all. This
expression faded though as the younger man studied his face for a few
seconds.

"I did not change myself or my attitude and the acceptance of my situation
is speeded with the need of security. If I continued to fear you and wait
for an attack by you, I would soon go insane. I am not really good at
dealing with fear as you most probably noticed."

"Do you believe I will hurt you?" Hannibal was curious about how honest
Will was willing to be to himself and to Hannibal.

"No, you don't want me to feel any pain, if I remember correctly, but then
again every game must have its ending and so does this one."

He was surprised to be given his own explanations from so long ago. Was it
really what Will believed or was it only some kind of defense?

"I am really curious though what your own thoughts about us are, Will. Be
a darling and share your opinion with me."

"What do you want me to say Hannibal?" The toneless ness of the other's
voice was in stark contrast to the full and husky voice of the jazz singer
and gave the blonde a transparent quality.

"I want you to be honest."

"There was a time when you asked me very similar questions with the intent
of healing me from my mental break down I had after the Hobbs case. Back
then I knew exactly what I thought about my life and the people in it. I
considered you a friend back then. I was wrong back then. I paid a high
price for this misconception." Will broke the eye contact with Hannibal
and glanced at the glass front behind the other man.

"After that I had my opinion on what and who you are. About the who I was
convinced that you were a monster. About the what I knew you were my
darkest fear and my nightmare. You proved me wrong again when you sent
Dolarhyde after me. By no means a nightmare, no, you proofed to be real
enough to be not considered dreamlike. In my time after Molly's departure
you became one of my unwanted and feared memories. It may interest you
that you were my greatest fear in this time. My thoughts returned to you
all the time to torment me with my failings."

There was a slight pause before he continued: "If you want an assessment
of who you are now, I can not give you that yet. I find that I am willing
to trust you even if it might result in my death. I have to trust you."

"Might or will result in your death Will?"

"Might or will, what does it matter?" The voice had dropped to a mere
whisper.

"It does not matter to me but it matters a great deal to you, doesn't it.
I want to you to believe that no harm will befall you from me but I have
not yet found a way to show you." Hannibal tilted his head to the side as
he studied the younger man opposite him.

"Will, I spent the time after my dealings with Mason Verger in Rio de
Janeiro together with ex-FBI agent Clarice Starling. I never hurt her and
the unfortunate end of our companionship had nothing to do with me but
with her weak mind. I know that you are much stronger than her and I also
know that if you are willing to give me the benefit of a doubt we can have
a glorious future ahead of us."

There was no reaction and he reached over the table to stroke the scarred
side of the blonde's face.

"Are you willing to do this much for me?"

"Please."

He longed to sit next to Will and take him in his arms, but the younger
man had to make this decision on his own.

"Please, Will?"

"Please, don't play with me." As the blue eyes were raised, he could see
the tears gathering in them. Brushing with his thumb over the corner of
one eye, he could feel the wetness of the salty liquid on it.

"I do not play with you, Will, I meant what I said and what I offered."
And I meant even more than you know, Will. Hannibal got up from his chair
and walked around the table and stood next to Will's chair. Carefully he
tugged the other one up from the sitting position he was in. Wrapping his
arms around the shivering form of Will Graham he rubbed tenderly over the
blonde's back. "Trust me, Will."

The whimper was almost toneless but he heard it none the less. Slowly he
navigated them through the sliding door into the cottage, to the couch in
the living room. As they reached their destination he coaxed Will into
lying down but when he tried to get up, the strong grip onto his wrist
made him stay kneeled down next to the other.

"Stay."

Hearing the implication in this one word uttered, the older man made the
blonde scoot over on the couch and Hannibal laid down on his side facing
the younger man. He once more wrapped his arms around Will and continued
the soothing motions of the backrub.

"Thank you." The gratitude on these two words was palpable. The former FBI
profiler pressed himself against the warm body of Hannibal and buried his
face in a shoulder, inhaling the older man's scent deeply.

After a couple of minutes Hannibal could feel Will's breathing even out
and soon thereafter he fell asleep, leaving Hannibal to his own thoughts
as he continued to hold the blonde close.


"I'm forever black-eyed
A product of a broken home"