Fandom: Red Dragon/The Silence of the Lambs/Hannibal

Pairing: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham

Rating: R/NC-17

Beta: Malakai_Amlug & elfinessy (thank you very much, to both of you)

Summary: Sometimes running is not possible as the past catches up with you.

Notes/Warning: This is a slash story which means that it features two grown up men in love with each other and physically expressing this emotion in various forms. If you are in any way or degree homophobic, disgusted, disturbed, feel threatened or weirded out by such a relationship, please do not read any further and don’t write me any stupid e-mails to preach about the wrongs or rights of homosexual relationships.

Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story are by no means mine and belong to Thomas Harris. If you want to have some picture as a guideline for what these guys actually look like I would strongly suggest watching the movie versions of the books, which were done by DeLaurentis Pictures. As for the musical help I had with this story. The chapter titles and the paragraphs of lyrics in each chapter are songs composed and performed by Placebo. Therefore they are not mine either. I am not making any money with this and purely do it for my own amusement and entertainment.



CHAPTER FIVE – Special K


"I'll describe the way I feel
Weeping wounds that never heal"


Will knew exactly how a small mouse felt when facing a snake. Shocked and paralyzed. He felt so helpless and most of all sad. Each and every time Lecter had attacked him – destroyed his life – he had climbed back on his feet. No matter how hurt or defeated he had been, no matter how much of a wreck he had been, he had just started building up a new life, started to work on healing enough to claim back life.

The last time he had had to do that all on his own. No Molly anymore, who could take care of him, help him. He knew that his efforts had not been much. For years he had run away and now he was a pathetic drunk who couldn't get to sleep until he had drunk himself into a stupor.

His life wasn't exactly an accomplishment but he had always thought that it did not make sense to try too hard and create a perfect new world. If he was completely honest with himself he had to admit that he'd always expected Lecter to find him. He'd been sure that sooner or later his current life would be taken from him yet again. At least this time neither Molly nor Josh would get involved or hurt.

Will rubbed his face with shaking hands and took a deep breath. His chest hurt when he inhaled, the air burning in his lungs. Another breath and the shaking of his hands slowly lessened.

When reality caught up with him again, he noticed that his shirt stuck to his sweaty body, the linen itching slightly. He needed a good and long shower.

Putting the paper bag with the flying fish into the fridge, Will left the others packed and headed upstairs, tearing his shirt off and dropping it on the stairs. Why did it feel so suffocatingly hot in the house?

In the bathroom he got out of his slacks and stepped into the shower cubicle, turning the warm water on. He closed his eyes and let the refreshing spray wash over him, cleaning away the sweat of fear and relaxing his tense muscles.

Suddenly the face that had been right in front of him minutes ago, flashed up and panic seized him again. He reached out to rest his hands on the wet tiles, seeking hold to keep standing. His heart trying to rabbit its way out of his chest, which ached with an indescribable pain. Will couldn't help but remember words from the past, words that since being said had kept haunting him.

//I think I'll eat your heart.//

His knees wobbled and he had to sit down in the shower. Why had he ever met Lecter? Why wasn't he ever able to escape? Nothing had helped so far, not arresting him, nor hiding in Florida, not running around the world and settling down somewhere far away from the past. In the end both of them, Bloom and Lecter, had found him. Sometimes he questioned his intelligence for even trying to hide. They always got him anyway.

His shock and fear was replaced with devastation and an incredible sadness. He so wanted to live a normal life for once, without nightmares and constantly looking behind his back to check if somebody was hiding in the shadows. He had long ago abandoned his dream of somebody sharing his life. Lecter had made sure that Will had to stay alone.

//Nobody will ever be safe around you, Will.//

Why was it that others always made the decisions about how he had to live his life? First it had been Jack, who had manipulated him into working for him on cases that were `impossible' for anybody else to solve. He had always insisted on Will having the rare gift of being psychic. It had frightened him back then but knowing that maybe people would die if he was too scared to use this ability wouldn't have been something he'd have been able to answer for. Jack knew that and used it to his own advantage, practically blackmailing Will into cooperation.

The second person had been Lecter of course and he had also been the third person to decide about him. Twice the man had already done with Will how he pleased and both times he had not been able to do anything about it. The first time he had simply refused to see the truth. Lecter had not only helped with the case but he had also helped with all the fear he always carried inside him. The older man appeared to always know what to do to keep him from feeling so helpless. Many times when Will had shown up to discuss the profile of Dr Lecter himself, they had ended up talking about Will and his problems. What he hadn't known back then was that it all had been a way to fuck with his mind and keep him from discovering the truth about his `friend'. Too late he had seen through all the lies and disguises and he had almost paid with his life for it.

When Lecter entered his life for the second time, Will had thought he would pass out right in front of Lecter's cell. But Will had went to him.... All these nights filled with nightmares about this person and then the moment of seeing him for real again. It had been devastating. Like he had done the first time, Lecter played his games with him again and once more he had paid dearly for getting involved. This time was worse though because it hadn't been only he who got involved. No, this time Molly and Josh had been in danger too.

These events lead right to person number three who decided about the future course of his life. Molly. She had stood one morning in the kitchen, bags packed and Josh already waiting in the car and with few words told him about her decision to leave. Not a single tear had wetted her eyes and she never looked back. It was not like she had told him what he was supposed to do but he she had told him that he wasn't allowed to get them – her and Josh – involved in his life again. Will had lost his family.

So in some way Lecter had succeeded in the end. He had wanted to take from Will away what he treasured most since it had been Will's fault that he had lost what was the most important thing to him. Will's family in exchange for Lecter's freedom.

It was somehow ironic that the only constant he had in his life was an insane serial killer. A cannibal at that too. It made Will want to cry. He did that a lot. Cry.

Will forced himself to get up on his feet and out of the shower. Downstairs, the food he had bought was lying on the counter and it would turn bad if he didn't put it away or cook something with it. Somehow he didn't feel like eating though and so he just skimpily dried himself off, dragging on a pair of boxers and padded downstairs to the kitchen. The air was humid and the temperature was higher too, there was probably a rainstorm brewing.

The bags were hot and he hoped that the vegetables and the fruit were okay. Fortunately he had at least put the fish in the fridge. Once the kitchen was clean and there was nothing more for him to do, he sought out the couch in the living room and plopped down on it. On the couch table was an empty tumbler and he knew at once who had drank from it. Lecter had been waiting for him in the house then. He hadn't followed him to the market and back but just sat back in Will's living room and waited for him to return.

Tears started to well in his eyes and he curled up on the couch, his hard sobs tearing out of his chest. Once the tears started to come they wouldn't stop anymore and Will cried himself into exhaustion and to sleep.


"I'll describe the way I feel
You're my new Achilles heel"


The smell of steamed fish and vegetables woke him and when he slowly opened his eyes he found a plate of food standing in the place where an empty tumbler had been before he had fallen asleep. Once more panic seized him but he fought it back. What was the use of panicking now when Lecter had been here all the time while he had slept? Maybe he was still here?

Will sat up and as he did so he noticed a small envelope on the table next to the plate. There was his name written on it in a all too familiar hand-writing. He reached out for the paper, cautiously as if the letter was going to attack him any minute. When his finger tips brushed over his name on the envelope, he exhaled relieved and picked it up. Opening it he took the note inside out and read the short lines written on the sheet.

`Dear Will,

I noticed that you hadn't cooked and eaten anything and so I decided to prepare something for you. Please eat, it will strengthen you and drinking alcohol without having eaten is even unhealthier than the masses of rum you normally consume.

I will meet you tomorrow at the Veni Mangé. Please don't forget the table is reserved for 8 pm.

Yours, Hannibal'

His stomach had tied itself in a huge knot and his hands were sweaty. After second to collect himself, he put the note away and reached for the cutlery. What was the use of not eating the fish. This was only the beginning of Lecter's manipulations and since he would meet tomorrow with the man to be informed about what exactly his future would entail, he could as well eat the food that had been prepared for him.

It was still warm, which meant that Lecter had left not too long ago. The fish had a nice rich flavor and together with the lime juice and the tomatoes it tasted deliciously fresh. He didn't know how the older man had known how to prepare and cook the fish but then again the other was a very good cook, he'd probably informed himself about culinary traditions of Trinidad before coming here.

His eyes scanned over the bar but when it came to rest on the rum bottles there, he shivered, remembering the empty tumbler of rum. Now he wouldn't even be able to get drunk again. There was absolutely nothing that was safe from Lecter.

Will took the plate and strode to the kitchen. Emptying the rest of the food into the garbage can, he put the dirty plate into the sink. He didn't need any more to eat. Tomorrow would show him what the future had to offer.


"No hesitation, no delay
You come on just like Special K"